Ah, fathers. We rarely appreciate all the furniture-moving and grass-mowing and turkey-carving these guys do, and their “pull my finger” jokes seldom get the laughs they expect. But in honor of Father’s Day on June 15, we thought we’d showcase a few of the gems that blu staffers’ dads have bestowed on them, providing a lifetime of knowledge—and maybe some amount of confusion, too. Hey, we can’t all be Ward Cleaver …
My pop has always said, “It’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.”
“Always leave a place cleaner than you found it,” my dad has said. To this day, I will pick up conspicuous pieces of trash on sidewalks and parking lots, to make the local environment nominally more beautiful (or at least, less ugly). This advice was also most valuable career-wise, when wanting to use the company machine shop. Cleaning up debris after using the band saw, drill press and the like, and clearing out detritus that wasn’t mine, the mechanical engineers and techs were pleased to let me work in their shop. I would leave it in better shape than when I started.
“Watch out for the turkey azzes, kid!”
As a kid, if my dad thought you were asking for too much, or something stupid, he’d say, “Wish in one hand and s#%t in the other … and see which one you get first.” Yep, my dad was a real jewel.
My contribution is a lesson I learned from my dad when I was about 7 and started doing chores and earning allowance. My dad told me, “Work is how you earn money. Your quality of work will take you further sometimes than even your education can. So, anything you do, do it the best you can. Your name is on everything you do; never allow anyone to say you did your job half-a$$!” My dad taught me work ethic and the value of hard work, and for that I am grateful!
1) Oatmeal is better than no meal.
2) If you have one good friend for life, you’re lucky.
3) What is a man? Responsibility.
Well, my dad has a bunch of stupid things he would say to my brother and me. His favorite, though, was probably, “Off your a$$ and on your feet. Out of the shade and into the heat.” He also said, “It’s on like a pot of neck bones.” Still have no clue what that means, but I guess I don’t speak the language of redneck very well.
My dad, after anything painful would happen and we’d tell him about it, would say, “It’s your imagination.”
My dad used to yell at us to close the fridge door … “I’m not paying to cool the whole damn neighborhood; close the door!”
My dad, when you asked too many questions: “You writin’ a book? Cause if you are, kiss my a$$ and make it a love story!” The best things I learned as a kid were sarcasm and cuss words. Very useful tools.
“Take a spoonful of cement and harden the f*@k up.”